


You Never Fight Alone

by radioactivefish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, Drinking, Gen, Reader Insert, Self Harm, attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts/ideation, very negative self-talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2015-07-22
Packaged: 2018-04-10 15:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4397417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radioactivefish/pseuds/radioactivefish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are a hunter living in the bunker with Sam and Dean. You are having an especially bad depressive episode, and attempt suicide. They find you, take you to the hospital, and tell you how important you are to them. Gender non-specific reader. WARNINGS: Depression/Self Harm/Drinking/Suicide. Please do not read if these things will trigger you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Never Fight Alone

**Author's Note:**

> You are a hunter living in the bunker with Sam and Dean. You are having an especially bad depressive episode, and attempt suicide. They find you, take you to the hospital, and tell you how important you are to them. Gender non-specific reader. This is written after I had an extremely bad depressive episode, and this type of thing comforts me, believe it or not. WARNINGS: Depression/Self Harm/Drinking/Suicide. Please do not read if these things will trigger you. 
> 
> \-----------------------------

You come back from a hunt, and sit down heavily on your bed. It had, technically, gone well, and you had ganked the vampire, but you almost got a child hurt. Sam told you earlier that there was nothing that you could have done better. Despite this, you kept replaying the scene in your head, and you told yourself that if you could have gotten down to the basement a bit faster, that child would not have been traumatized by the vampire head getting chopped off two feet away. This is what you kept telling yourself; you almost got a child killed. 

By this time, you had started to cry. You decided, against your better judgment, that you were going to cut so that you could numb your feelings. You had also decided to do so in the shower, so you could both wash off, and get your wounds clean quickly. You gather clean clothing, your razors, and grab one of the bottles of whiskey from the kitchen, to numb yourself a bit more. 

You slowly walk into the bathroom that has a bath tub, and get your things ready. You sit down on the toilet at first, and begin to drink out of the whiskey bottle. I has never been something that you like, and it burns going down. After a few minutes, you turn your phone on and play some music. You sit in the tub, draw a bath, clean off, and then begin your ritual. You begin to cry, and begin to cut a bit harder. As this is happening, you hear Sam stitching up a cut on Dean’s arm from a couple of rooms away. This makes you cry harder, and you begin to tell yourself that the boys will be better off without you. 

During this thought process, you take several more drinks out of the whiskey bottle, cringing at the burning sensation. After this, you try to cheer yourself up, and try to think about all the things that you do, and how much you help the boys. You begin to convince yourself that your presence hurts the boys more than helps them. This thought pushes you through your mental wall, and you decide to stop hurting the boys. You take your razor, push it down into your wrist, and run it down almost all the way to your elbow, and then do the same with your other arm. You rest your arm on the edge of the bath tub, and relax into the water. A strange, yet peaceful sensation came over you, and you were about to go to sleep. However, you were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Y/N, are you alright? You’ve been in there for quite a while”, Dean says, sounding slightly concerned. 

You wanted to answer him; tell him that he shouldn’t be concerned, but you couldn’t quite get your mouth to work properly.

Dean begins to knock louder, and his voice is tinged with more concern than last time. “Y/N? Are you alright? Please answer me!”

You vaguely hear Dean calling to Sam, and then both of them begin calling to you. They try to open the door, but you had locked it after coming in. They begin pounding on the door, and you hear the lock break. Dean runs in first, and the first thing he sees is the blood dripping from your arm to the floor, and your bath water tinged a medium pink. The very last thing you hear before you fall asleep is Dean calling to you.

You wake up, but can’t quite place your location. You struggle to open your eyes, and when you do, it is painfully bright. For a moment, you wonder if you are in heaven. This thought is quickly replaced with the intense pain in your head and your arms. You open your eyes little by little, letting them adjust to the light. Quickly, you realize you are in a hospital. The memories of the previous day come flooding back to you, and you surmise that the boys found you before you could let go. 

“Y/N,” Sam began. “Y/N are you ok? We were worried that you would never open your eyes again.” Sam lightly holds your hand, being careful to avoid your cuts. “Y/N, why didn’t you come talk to us if you were that upset? We’ve told you that you can come to us with anything.” 

You were not sure what you could say to him, so you said nothing at first. You just began to cry. “I’m sorry,” you choked out. 

Sam looked at you with sadness in his eyes, and told you he would be back. He got up and walked out, and you decided that you would not blame him if he never came back. You didn’t deserve any pity or affection from either of them after what you did. Even if they loved you before yesterday, they definitely wouldn’t feel the same way now. In the midst of these thoughts, you heard Sam start talking to Dean.

“Y/N’s awake and coherent if you want to talk to them.” 

After a few more seconds, both of the boys come into the room. You could see that Dean had been crying, and he still had a rim of tears in his eyes.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Dean began. “We were very worried that we would never see those lovely Y/E/C eyes ever again.” He changed topics fairly quickly. “Why did you want to die? Have we hurt you?” Dean began to cry, and Sam looked at him with a look that told him that he might be progressing through topics too quickly. 

Tears running down your cheeks, you mutter, “I don’t matter.” 

Both Sam and Dean’s eyes snap straight to yours, and Sam asks, “What do you mean you don’t matter?” Dean chimed in right after this, and began reminding you of all the times that you had helped them through hunts, and various stories of times that you had spent together.

“I’m not important,” you say, interrupting Dean’s stories. “You could have done all of those things without me.”

Sam looks at you, and cups your face in his hands. “If you weren’t important, you wouldn’t be here. No one could take your place in the world; no one could replace you. You’re important to us.”

You give him a weak smile as a thank you, and he hugs you as gently as possible. Dean comes over and gives you a kiss on your forehead. “You mean so much to me. Please, never forget that.” 

You feel heavy with sleep now, and you know that your fight is not over, but you have two people who love you, who will help you throughout your fight. There is one thing that they remind you every day. 

“You never fight alone.”


End file.
